Friday, August 3, 2007

Still waiting ...still trusting...

Hi everyone. First of all let me say that I am overwhelmed by the emails and phone calls of support and love that we have received. I am truly blessed!!
Mom has now been moved to a nursing home. I don't understand Insurance companies...oh, I guess they think you can die cheaper in a nursing home than you can in a hospital!! They made us move her yesterday. She was so very depressed as we were getting her settled...it nearly broke my heart.
Let me back up to David's last post. Mom had the reaction to the Morphine and she never really came out of it. She ended up with high levels of CO2 in her system. Because of her size and also her sleep apnea and the fact that she is flat on her back in the bed, she is unable to get rid of the CO2, so her O2 levels are continuing to drop and the CO2 levels are continuing to rise. She sleeps a lot and when she is awake she is very confused and talking out of her head. Sometimes she knows she isn't making sense and sometimes she gets very angry at me for thinking that she isn't making any sense...is any of this making any sense???? Anyway, they are telling us that this will continue and eventually the CO2 levels with get high enough that she will go to sleep and just not wake up. Praise God...then she will be free from the terribly broken body that she is in and she will be resting in her Heavenly Father's arm forever!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is in a lot of pain, so my Dad has authorized them to give her however much Morphine she needs to be pain free. We know that this will cause her CO2 levels to rise because it effects her respiratory system and thus expidite her passing, but we know that it will also be a painless way to go!!! So we spend our days and nights (someone is with her 24/7) by her bedside explaining everything to her over and over and trying to comfort her as she talks crazy stuff.
I have prayed that God will be merciful and not let her suffer or linger a second longer than HIS will would dictate. I don't want her to go, but I don't want her to suffer even more!
My Dad is really limping along through all of this. It is really taking a huge toll on him..I just don't know how much more he can take. I am asking for many prayers for him. For strength, for courage, for peace and sweet sleep when he comes home and tries to rest. He isn't sleeping well and is so very tired. That David and I will have the right words to comfort him, that he will seek God through it all and draw closer to him!!
Obviously the Dr.'s don't know how much longer Mom has with us, but they say that it most likely will be days. So we are still waiting...still trusting in our Father's love to get us through it all...

6 comments:

Angie said...

Know my prayers are still coming to you! I love you all!
Angie

Anonymous said...

Shelley,

We love you and are praying for you all-so is our church family.

Hugs to you and your family,
Wendy & Greg Dodd

Susan and Dave said...

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30:5 KJV

Prayers continued,
S + D

Susan said...

I know you are looking forward to the 'morning'.
You have an awesome Peace about you Shelley. Perhaps you don't always see it yourself, but want you to know others have noticed. ~Susan.

Jennifer said...

You know, it's so very comforting to know that she belongs to God. It makes letting go easier....not easy, but easier.

"Blessed Assurance! Jesus is mine!"

Jennifer

sarahb said...

A BIG hug to you Shelley. and continuing prayers for peace and comfort for all of you.