Tuesday, January 1, 2008

...Calm and New Beginnings...

Happy 2008 to you all!!! I must admit that I have been really looking forward to saying goodbye to the year 2007. As the holidays got closer all I could remember was hearing my mother. About a week before she died, we were talking about so many things and she said, "Shelley, do you think I will be here for Christmas this year?" I told her that we just didn't know, but deep down I think we both knew that she wouldn't. I began to steel myself up for the next few months in anticipation of just getting through the holidays. We made it okay ...that is until yesterday. Yesterday was New Years Eve and my 41st birthday. I had a rough day. It was much worse than Christmas day. David had a rough day too. We both just wanted to talk to our Moms. I just moped all day and did a good bit of crying. I was trying to stay busy, but it was just no use. I was miserable thinking about how much I missed my Mommy. Aly kept coming up to me, hugging me and singing Happy Birthday and...well...to tell you the truth, that was about all that kept my head above water.
We went out to dinner for my birthday and Dad was, well...very grumpy and quiet. It was akward to say the least. We did try to enjoy my birthday dinner and then came home and David, the girls and I just hung out in our bedroom and had some fun playing. Some good friends called about 9pm and said they were on their way over with some Champagne and so the day did end good...about about 12:30am!! :-)
I was talking with David as we were trying to figure out why today hit us both so hard, I think I figured out that we were prepared for Thanksgiving and Christmas to be hard and were mentally prepared a bit. But I wasn't expecting it to hit me for my birthday or the New Year and so we got kind of blindsided.
I have so many expectations of this new year. I am praying for a more peaceful year for our family. I am praying for a repreive from the spiritual testing for us all. But, then I remember that my most important prayer is for God's will to be accomplished through our family...whatever that brings!! A year ago I couldn't imagine it getting worse...but it certainly did. We have survived...a few scars, but God has been here with us through it all.
I was watching a Halmark channel movie the other day and a quote really stuck out at me..."The truth of God's love is not in that He allows bad things to happen, but it is His promise that He'll be there with us when they do." You know, I have had the discussion so many times about God allowing bad things to happen to decent people and I realized with this statement that it doesn't really matter and it isn't the point anyway. The point is that he is with us when they do. God has been with me for so long now. But, especially through all the chaos of this last 18 months or so in our family. I can't imagine how people get through struggles like these without the love of God to carry you! I can't imagine getting through any of the big things in life without the Love of God to carry you!! There have been so many times where I physically felt Him walking (Physically and spiritually) for me when I couldn't.
So, now we have moved into the next year of our lives. I have no idea what God has in store for us. I am excited to see how he will use us in the year 2008. I am thankful that somehow, through all of our failures, God still sees fit to use us at all!!!!
My hopes are for a bit more simplicity (good heavens...have you seen our house???) and for some time to heal and renew as a family and as a woman/wife/mother. I want to focus on my children more this year instead of dragging them through it like they did this past year. Thank you God that my children are so flexible!! :-) I want to focus on my husband and my relationship more this year...we have definately gotten lost in the shuffle.
So, if you want to do something for us this year, please remember to pray for us. Pray for God to direct us and heal us, strengthen us and guide us and set our steps exactly as HE wants them for 2008.
I will pray the same for you!!
Please leave me a comment if there is any way that I can pray for you or anything I can do for you!!
God Bless you as you start into this year!! May God richly bless you in all the ways that He sees fit for you. May He guide you in all the ways that will bring Glory to Him. May you be used of HIM in MIGHTY Ways over these next 12 months!!!
In HIS Mighty Grip~


Angie said...

I thought of you all day yesterday, birthday girl! I am so sorry that it was such a difficult day. I am so glad though, that your sweet girls are there to keep you going. Praying for a great 2008 for us all!
Love you friend!

Shelley said...

Thanks Angie...you are precious!! David and were talking yesterday about how much we miss our friends from East TN and you were at the top of the list!!!! Hugs to you for a wonderful 2008 and a Precious little Emma coming soon to a nursery near YOU!!!!
love ya

Anonymous said...

Happy belated Birthday Shellbell! We'll get down to you guys one of these days! Got room?!

(*thinking* It would be, me, hubby, Becca Boo-Boo, Matthew and Charlie!)

hehehehehehe.....*s* We could all drive David absolutely bonkers!


sarahb said...

I am praying for you all, Shelley. (And Happy Birthday, You Youngster!!) I know what you mean about making it through the days you expect to be hard but being blindsided by others. Sometimes it will be simply a rainy afternoon when I want to chat with my Momma or when the kiddos do something hilarious. It is never bragging...or whinning when it's your mom!! Please know what an encouragement and a special blessing that you are and have been to so many.